Maybe everyone

Maybe everyone
Is just trying to be seen
I think of passing these fields six years ago
Of sending you the reaper poem from the bus
Can I forgive the cruel irony of that moment? Of that memory?
Can I love myself that much?

Why is intimacy so difficult to find?
We control who we are so closely in communities 
And then with strangers we’re suddenly so free
Like in Turkey just free to be whoever
And yet strangers have no commitment
It’s a double edged sword
Things seem to be like that
Blessings and a curse

Blue rivers criss crossing this red and green
Glittering like gold chains
Protected and serene
And I know that I’m projecting
Turn my head and change the light
Can I let this sadness go
Can I love that much to live this life?