i lack motivation
i am sitting here
reading through other girls
words poetry painted across
their tumblr pages late at night
all the while knowing it is the wrong
thing to do

these girls with pasts riddled
in divorced parents in pills that
dropped on their tongues slipped down their throats
as easily as the syllables do on the page
girls who spent their summers sitting on
stoops writing perfect images
of j.d. salinger listening to jazz
telling lies about how they were in college
writing lies into their yellow faded notepads
and knowing all the while

my walls are not draped in writing awards
like these girls
i cannot slap scratch your face
like these girls

and i am trying to decide if thats okay

and i am trying to decide if i care