every time i see that sweater i shudder

it can wipe the smile off my face
instantly

and it's not that i want to wear it again

it's that it makes me remember
the world

that almost a year ago

was my

own

remember how i raged?

the tears brimming as
i ripped it off and threw it on the
floor because i could not bear
to touch
what

had touched you too

we may have not talked
we may talk falsely

but you cannot sew over
the time spent in that sweatshirt
and it cannot be erased
with lines

i may give heavy glances
i may tremble at your words

when we pass each other in the hallways we may greet
one another with hello

but
when i
look up at
that blue
it swallows
me up
in
pain

so much
so
that
i must consciously
breathe


in





out.


in



out.

in

out.

in
out.