Morning Light (song lyrics)

tell me as the time goes by
that these days won't turn to lies
even if there is no sky
i want to see you in the morning light

no we don't have to expire
we can close our blinds
and go higher
and see higher

lets retire to my room
lets go to bed
lets drape each others skin
with words we've said

tell me as the time goes by
seen a lot of grown men cry
even if there is no sky
i want to see you in the morning light

i want to see you in the morning light
i want to see you in the morning light

i hate this

when you begin to look around the table
and you can see under the skins of the people
surrounding you
everyone lies
these people are no exception
how foolish you are

they cannot always give you what you want
you cannot always share what you have to say
what you thought you lived in some sort of idyllic world?
how laughable

everyone has masks
they will not share their identity
deep down
do they really love you
at all?

we are alone
you are alone
he is alone
she is alone

seeing under the surface
makes me shake and shiver

when you begin to cry
but not quite

we are sitting at the diner table
we argue over whether the glass
is a two way mirror or faintly tinted
we talk about the music we have heard
we recount memories
we eat

i can see no foreseeable ending
you are saying to me
i used to be able to foresee the fall
but not with this
(not with me)
college
is a marking point
though
to hear you say it aloud
is oddly terrifying

that is how i would want it
though if it happens that way
it would be sad
you are still talking to me
and i lock eyes with you
so many more times
because i cannot get enough
of these moments
because i know i will not have them
when they're gone

we pay the bill
we buy rubber fruit snacks for dessert
you wait with me for my train

when i am home
i brush my teeth
my eyes catch on an
infinity sign on the paper
packet behind my toothbrush
charger
infinity has no beginning
nor an ending
and i realize the symbol
fits the word

friendship has no expiration date
why can't we

i feel childish in my longing

i want this
to be eternal
it has already become
to me
as solid
as the ground beneath my feet

ignorance is bliss they say
live in the moment they say
shut up and kiss me they say
they say
they say
they say

if i open my eyes do you promise to be there?
i do not know if i will remember how to be
without you by my side

i miss you

i need you to remind me of who i am again

because when it has been too long

i forget

and i do not want to have forgotten your face

i will not be tangled in the lines

of lies and past interests

do not have a hold on me

when you see me

i instantly remember

what is right

she opens the book
and i gasp

when things fit together
you can almost hear them pop
audibly

state outright
this is working

the pen drawings are self-portraits
and the lines dangle and dally
purposefully

i exhale a sigh of beauty

the art that has saved you
is not just your own

there's something i don't like about
this
sitting in the chair
watching him remove his sweater
and you check my facial expression
every moment

it is hard
to know that this
is not my future

you are not me any more
i am farther away
safe beyond a boundary

i have created

let me lie
on the sand
and never speak a word again
the sun will
understand
me
the sun will
soak up my
bones

whispering words
that whirl around me like
blankets
i am drowsy with your skin
on my nose and in my
ears and between each of my toes
i cannot help my mouth from
breathing slowly
i cannot help my mind from
disappearing
i cannot help myself from looking
into your eyes and trying
to divine what makes you tick
and how there can be so many
shades of you
that i can peel off each layer
and shut my eyes and see
a different face
it's hard to comprehend that you are
all one
cohesive only in the flickering
images
vaguely similar
but alike
i cannot shape you between my fingers
your edge is light and softly
oscillates

my room is full of post-its
my mind is full of sound

[wrap
(my heart
in
the snow]

is beating)
rhythm will
melt
the flakes
around
it

red undulating
beats in the
frost

passerbyers unaware
of the life
under
ice

light outward
white all

the day all my post its fall
i may cry
i did not realize i had been doing this
for three
years

integrated (one word)

its martin luther king day

so i doubt this is a coincidence

making blacks and whites combine

we did not create gray

but a gradient

its is not about color blindness
the absence of our hues

but color mindness

color kindness

we do not want to erase

we want to see

and respect

(because even in a black
and white world
we can hate)

before i sleep

how can i be afraid of dying
when i have my toes
my fingers touching one another
my undulating skin
i will not die alone but
with my neck stretched high
with my calves slung low

how can i be afraid of dying
when i have a nose that can smell
and a mind
i am hardly alone in my own body
working to make my chest pump
in and out
working to make my voice speak

how can i be afraid of dying
when i can close my eyes
and whisper myself sweet nothings
lull myself into darkness
gently

i promise i'll never turn my face
as long as we can get to that place
where we can talk, breathe at the same pace
and your skin with silent shhhhhhhs i lace

exhaling
to leave feeling
everything is all right
is the most i could
ever ask
for

I understand that you are upset
but please do not be selfish
because each word you do not say stabs me

DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH IT HURTS

you must not

your clouds of angst
don't obscure just yourself
they tear me apart
limb from limb

they make me cry
in the shower
with the hot water
hitting my heart
over and over
and over
again

they make me lose my mind
attach my phone to my hand
look at the screen each second
dare i miss a flicker

you have the responsibility of two lives now
and yet you are not acting responsible
at all

have i ever typed at school before?
i've wanted to
to say the things when i cannot speak
to understand

i feel so weak
when i cannot talk
when my breathing is labored
it is like i have a moth
inside my lung
and
it cannot open its wings
it tries to flap
but the pattern comes out
fragmented
and it cannot move
and i cannot
speak
and i can
not
speak

what does it feel like to be you?
to touch your skin
to see me from the outside
to not be able to see your
face
when you look up

when i smell my sweater
its filled with the two boots
seats and you

drunk revelations on the late night 1 train
leaning against me and apologizing
i supply the negative adjectives willingly
as the tracks go under us
i make you drink water
filling your fingers with the bottle
whenever they jut out lazily
gesturing
making the pictures of your slurring words

somehow your sorry is not tainted by
the alcohol on your breath
i can blatantly insult you and you will
admit to your faults

when we stumble out into times square
(you have to pee and i will not let you
go on the tracks) i tell you to keep an eye on me
the lights are bright
running around finding a public restroom
is harder than one might
think

mcdonalds late night can i take your order
buying the cheapest thing on the menu
to use the dingy stalls

back in the train
we talk about bases
sliding and slipping around
i can hear your words are not lies
and your prying is playful it
reaffirms my security
the assertiveness of your voice
as we roll over the bridge
dictates the world
painting the pictures of your mind and
making me realize again
how wonderful it is to no longer pine
for you
to see you respect the boundary
that stands
to see that you are truly happy
for me
to have this endless chapter
close

you leave me with a promise
i'm not allowed to hold it to you because you're tipsy
you state
but you will try

after you get off
i realize you have left
your glove

blue and white
it sits
on the grey seat

every time i see that sweater i shudder

it can wipe the smile off my face
instantly

and it's not that i want to wear it again

it's that it makes me remember
the world

that almost a year ago

was my

own

remember how i raged?

the tears brimming as
i ripped it off and threw it on the
floor because i could not bear
to touch
what

had touched you too

we may have not talked
we may talk falsely

but you cannot sew over
the time spent in that sweatshirt
and it cannot be erased
with lines

i may give heavy glances
i may tremble at your words

when we pass each other in the hallways we may greet
one another with hello

but
when i
look up at
that blue
it swallows
me up
in
pain

so much
so
that
i must consciously
breathe


in





out.


in



out.

in

out.

in
out.

If I had nothing

I would
treasure ziplock baggies
whispering my secrets into
them
closing them tight

I'd wash them daily in the
bird baths
my grimy fingers ripping tears
in the putrid soiled surface
holy water
for the pigeons to baptize
their
young

in the
hollow of the city
we can bury
our ignorance
our arrogance
breathing
between the
cracks in the sidewalks
holding together
the paper concrete

wrap me closer
as the bus rumbles
past Tompkins
Square Park
hungry

envelope me
as the streetlights
burn

this is terrible
how easily months can be wiped
away
the same mannerisms
without any of the underlying feeling

you are such a child
i do not understand
who i was

when was it you stopped talking to me
i can count the days if you'd like
you can make small talk
and act and ask as if it does not matter
but it does

how could you do that to me

i was trying so hard
i had liked you so long

how could you be so cruel

i grew fond of hating you
and hating myself for not being able to scream at you
i used to wish i could kiss you
now i long for a slap.
yet i know i will just purse my lips and smile
apologize
for things i have not done wrong

oasis

the quick pencil
drawings I
make for you
on cards,
attentive
to each
turn
the lyrics we spin
about kungfu
masters in
the dark
as you pick
lazily
and I
diligently
strum

these are
what I want to
do with
my life

christmas eve

reading your
letter
my hair is wet
dripping
and these
words jump
out at
me
clench on to
my cheeks
dig in their
claws
and
draw
tears