it frightens me so much to call you
but here i am
dialing and shaking on
the tiled floor
and after the beep
my voice shaking like a baby
i do not know how to do this
i do not know how to do this
i do not know how to do this
don't you know?

and my crackly voice gives me
away (i am literally shivering)
in a way that words written on paper
can't
cahn't
in a way that words written on paper
cahn't