you said that
maybe
i should start another
blog

for all the other
loves
that were to come
after
to preserve the moments
the kiss love damp
emanating from this digital page
kissing each readers eyes
with dewy lips
and sleepy eyelashes

i didn't correct you
didn't tell you
that there were
stories of others
before
that in this hallway of my mind
you were a portrait
the biggest
clearly
but not the only one hung on this hallowed halls
the most well lit of course
but not the solitary
frame

i did not tell you that there would not
be pictures after

i did not say anything
at all

when i see your face
traced in moonlight
your skin soft
lips wet and full
i let my brain disappear
at first it happens slowly:
the edge thoughts
furling into
non-being;
and then all at once:
as if it has slipped
down my throat
and out my ears.

it is not always wonderful to be in love, but today it is

It eats at me from the center of my skin

See this stomach a pit of gnawing

A pit of dark black

That the lines of my mind cannot contain

I do not want to be such a monster

I do not want to hold such envy within my bones

prayer

i lean my head against
the wooden table
like oak or pine or cedar
redwood forest california
smell the firtrees at your feet
and i think of what it is that i want

i never used to wish for specific things
i would let the heavens do my choosing
wish vaguely for things to turn out right
for celestial bodies to align themselves in
the order they deemed fit

i breathe i breathe i breathe i breathe
hold breath hold breath hold breath hold breath
let each thought float away like feather
let each feeling cease to be
let lips press and let hands like leather
eyes pressed together so that i see

what that i want
what that i need
to hear it in the rushing breeze
all that i want
all that i need
i pray for it to come, to please

i lean my head against
the wooden table
and kiss its colored waves.

from june to september

i am afraid that in the space of a summer
(stretched paper thin like a piece of tracing paper)
i will crinkle and crumple and tear with each blow
the breeze i can see myself withering
(where are my legs like tree trunks, my heart like the raging sea)

hot tears

sometimes i cry hot tears
and i don't want you to tell me not to
i don't want you to exercise
jurisdiction on my eyes you don't realize
these salty flavored stuffy sticky tears
are all i want
don't tell me not to cry
don't tell these loving rivers
to not flow from each eyelid down the supple plains
of my cheeks round
the plumpness the red flush
quiver shiver
down the side of my nose
around my lips
pressed tight
you do not exercise control here
you do not exercise control

two poems

i love looking back
at these words
it makes me feel
less alone
in my room under fairy
lights comforted by my
words

-----

last night i wrote about how
we fell in love with each others
words pouring out in gushing
waterfalls emails letters
notes we just couldn't get
enough of each other's sentences

you delighted in my succulent
syllables and I in the lean lilt of
your letters, pressed the ink against

my skin, at first you
called me consecrated
fragile  innocent

and i wonder how i look now with your
finger print smudges on
the tan expanse of my stomach
with my own finger prints
pressed proudly to my face