I will never make a perfect decision

I will never make a perfect decision

each one tainted with the possibility of the other

infinite impossible collages of the mind

no substance but the cyclical pain of fruitless repetition

at the moment of the jump there is no evidence

no argument that will make you see the bad you 

will sustain for the good you have not yet known, to understand your 

own resilience the truth that comes only with time

nothing but a blind faith

or a shred of

reckless optimism

can save you in that moment

logic futile

only now

the letting go

the trusting that

something will hold you.

tender(ness)

this morning I awake from a dream of you

still dripping from the shower

naked and looking down at me with a tenderness

and the shared secret of that mutual excitement

reflected between us like a prism

and the hope of you 

hands on my arms

and the memory that you

did so

I am beginning to understand I think

the way nothing makes sense

the way we can never see what piece it is

we are holding in our hands

we were not children this was a dream

and I lived it and passed out from it

life is a series of awakening from dreams

and I feel that acutely

I am tender

I am tender to that tenderness