its funny how when you have known more
the dreary less
can become relief
instead of drudgery

Luca

in the curve of my brothers back as he
takes off his shirt in the morning i see my future
the graceful arch of his skin tells me all i need to know
about where i'm going and where i've come from
he doesn't realize as he talks and laughs
how much this little action shows me
how old he is
one little mannerism and i can imagine him as a teenager
i hope he keeps his caramel skin
and his curly locks
and his smile

i'm not angry
or at least anymore
its just like
someone has taken a huge
eraser
and slowly rubbed you away
inch by inch
until you are just those
little soft rubber shavings
to
brush and blow
off my life

why why why why why why
why why why why why why
why why why why why why
why why why why why why
why why why why why why
why why why why why why
why why why why why why
why why why why why why

betrayal is stronger and harder than ice

than the sharpened butcher knives of the store 

down the street 

and the tangy taste of the lemon I shouldn't 

have eaten 

but did. You 

think you can draw out forgiveness 

with your eyes, you think 

you can draw out the pain 

with your sighs, you think that 

i'll come running back

but I won't 

and I can't 

talk to you because 

I am afraid of 

all the things i will say
and all the things i will not do

unfortunately for you
my feelings cannot be won
by some late night typed
lazy eye ice cream doped feelings
running with an electric current
daze through your skin when your body doesn't feel
like its yours and you think you can
achieve world peace with the click of
a button

i am not sold for that cheap

these are regions i have not explored
and it is funny to think you have become
the person
i always imagined you to be
and the actions you make are not yours in my mind
but a new you that pays attention
and is sweet
it is odd for the mental to become material

i saw the mask
you wore
day in
day out
waltzing to the time
of your foot-stepping dance
of lies and deceits and little
celery sticks because they burned
more calories than you used while
eating them with your eyes becoming
erasers to make your sides lines
though they were just as thin as they needed
to be

i don't know why you needed
to be so much better
or why you felt so much less
but the falseness in your stench is something
i cannot ignore anymore
and something i will not
tolerate

they say you pulled down the shower curtain
they say you pulled down the shower curtain with your rage
how befitting