Happy Sad Angry (or An Outburst of Jealousy)

just because she is good at Tetris
doesn't mean she is good at sucking dick
or late night calls
it doesn't mean that she would wake up early
to go buy you cupcakes even if it turns out that they only have the ones that
you don't like or write you small notes
and slip them in your locker
and just because she touches you on
your shoulder and acts cute and
when she says are you going on the
Rome trip she says you not you guys
and that you should totally come does not mean
that she would spend dozens of mornings going
to the places you first went together taking
pictures and collaging you in or
that you would be able to find her
under her kitchen lamp the night before your birthday
late
sewing up a small yellow book
(because she knows because she cares)
just because she exclaims in a high pitched voice and has
a good sense of humor doesn't mean
she would make the hour long trek to Queens
continually continually continually
doesn't mean she would give up her bed for you
to float in her scent and crawl under her covers
doesn't mean that she would cry cry cry cry so much so much
over you for you because of you happy sad angry
doesn't mean that she would say i love you
and mean it
and want to scream it
and want to sing it
and say it over and over again
spinning in woozy circles
her bones jutting in dangerously
as she crumpled
to the floor.