you do not understand

the degree of perfection i demand of myself

it scares you

i can see it

in the way you are angered

by my

m e t i c u l o u s

nature



do you think i like that i care this much?

but this is not the way to go about it
with snarky words
hidden behind hurt feelings

i am sorry that i cannot care as little as you do

no that sounds snarky
but i am

i wish i could prioritize like that
but i do not want to be peer pressured
out of my own pressure cooker
perfection plate i know that it is not
healthy but i do not need cut words
to know that i am only changing
because i am afraid of what you think
of me
that just makes me feel that i am
different that i am
wrong

i am hurt

i am not okay


why can you break me so easily

i do not like feeling like the things i do are wrong


just let me count my points
until they reach up to the ceiling
i am sorry but i need my own space
to do my work because
i cannot stand you looking over
my shoulder sneering