monday

sometimes i don't know what it is
but it is as if the rain seeps
into my skin leaving blue
blotches and my mood is as dark
as the clouds underfoot that buzz
around in my head because today you
did not pay attention to me and today
i did not see you. really I'm becoming tired
so tired, so tired
i do not even know if it is you that i like or more the
way that you are always laughing or the idea of the
impeccability that has now tore at
its seams with everything crashing down because
i hung around an hour too late and scoured
the hallways as if i had a place to be but really i
was looking for you
in the posters on the wall and the faces of the people
who had stayed because they had reasons
searching as if i had found you i would've said anything
we both know thats a lie
or at least i do
i don't know if you even think that hard
in the gloom of the waiting for the five o clock
train that will whisk me away from the city
and the dunkin donuts that i stopped in because
you may or may not have been there with your friends
and the streets you will walk that i don't even know if
i should care about
or if i do care about
too much uncertainty
makes my head implode