drowsy

what is it
that is keeping me up
writing

when i could so
easily sneak off
to bed

i am
done
babysitting she has handed me
the money
and i have walked back
down the steps to my
apartment

i have even completed
the hardest arduous task
of getting ready
and could just turn off the lights
and slip and slide
and roll
into the river
of my mind

but
instead i sit here typing
almost as if im searching for
something but i dont know
what
only that i wont be able to sleep
to stop until im satisfied
that my pajama-getting
and toothbrushing have been useless
unless i discover
what it is i
seek