i see my name in your inbox
and my heart skips a beat
when i remember i'm a part of your life
im not on the outside looking in
(this is real
i'm your friend)

we watch movies
all of us in a dark basement
and i enjoy it until
i see that the girl next to you
has casually placed
her leg on yours
i push it off with my eyes
(she doesn't even know you)
you just sit still but i still can't
help it my mind scrunches
up with unjustified jealousy

(when i smile
i try to catch your eye
when i laugh
i want you to catch mine)

you catch me
but not enough or not
what i think to be nearly enough
or maybe not
nearly what i want to be enough

i want to remember
all this forever
but i'm too lazy to write
it down

(i want you to be mine
but i'm too scared
to make a sound)

catapult

(one word)
catapult yourself into my arms
and fly straight through me
take me with
you as you stream across the sky
launched into a high strong arc
higher than my arms
can reach when i stand on my
tippytoes
and reach for the stars

Lullaby

(one word)

sing me a lullaby
i need a lullaby
to calm my screams
to make me stop
I. want. everyone. to. STOP.

and everything
stop talking to me
let the words fill my ears
let the music be what i hear
i dont care
i dont want to be here
banish all these thoughts
its been rough
its been tough
its been a tumble in the mud day
i know for me too
so sing it away
don’t complain to me
i don’t care anymore
i don't want anymore
sleep

White Pages

Don’t look down

Look up

In looking down your eyes will sink into the floor

And your mouth will become the dusty grey

with the words I see unsaid on your tongue

I laugh to think you believe you’ve hid behind the shadows of everyone else

You are no more a part of the shadows than the sun

You are no more unnoticeable for your sacrifice

Just more stupid

More conformed with the sound scheme of society

Play and pause to the tune of the busy streets

Can’t be the note that’s off-key

Can’t be the one that people see

I am the fire quenched by your cowardice

The courage-less cutouts are no match for me

You think that it is that I’ll ever stop shouting?

Think this is the way that you’ll get to be free?

When you lie alone with quietness

Cowering behind a blank face mask

Flip through pale pages, you are just one of them

Synonymous in uniformity

Equal in vacant voice, you disgust me.

How can you live so low, when you can scream so loud?

How can you not be heard, when you can easily shout?

I am the syllables that you have chained up in your fear

The unnecessary weakness.

The bridge won’t hold, it’ll break

tumbling down into your silence

without the echo of your needs

So scream at me

Look up at me and tell me what you are

Banish the shy, the scared

The scared have no place here

You have no place here anymore

And that is why I am here

You have no place here anymore

Unless you tell me that you do

Unless you fight for what is you

Unless you know it, what is true

You are not who you are

If you cannot prove it

You don’t deserve to be who you are

If you cannot speak

So speak to me.

Shut out the fear that no one knows

Before it consumes you

Before you become the one that never grows

Before it erases you and you’re a white page

No one needs a white page

There are so many others

That are like you

So take it out

In the name of them that can’t be you

Take it out

The evil hesitation

The silent condemnation

Push it

Punch it

No one needs a white page

There are too many of them

No one needs a white page