reading myself fall in love with him in reverse
reading myself reflect on growing up
the years another he is about to enter
thinking about growing up the things that linger
the dancing in the rain, in the staircase
the private abandon, the large words
handled carefully to delineate all the small things

you are a phantom that calms me
perhaps i am a ghost that eases your mind
on sleepless nights
wrapped around your pillow
the whisper on the edge of a vision
the unspoken back-up plan under all the plans
that doesn't really fit together
when you straighten it out
the word you wanted to say 
after the first word you wanted to say
after the thing you really meant
really, your third choice
the steady hum of the machine 
under the hum of the machine
inaudible to all but persistent
little but a harmony
you are a phantom that calms me
i am a ghost that eases your mind.

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