before the new year

i feel like throwing up.

i feel like throwing up.

i will let you take all your little stabs at me.

let you come with your tear sharpened knife.

let you bring all the knowledge of my secret shadows—

of the curve of my feet, of the hollow of my stomach, of the

pink skin of my scalp. 

let you come and I will sit here like paper until you punch me through

a hundred times a thousand times a million times

with your stabbing words.

and then

i will float away.

a song

you say you say that maybe today
we can right all the wrong
all that we have to do is swallow the sea

you say you say that its in our reach
how can i not hear the song
all that i have to do is splinter in breezes

in breezes
you say

and i---i know
its hard for you
to hear the words
like kites

and i---i know
it sucks a stale
taste to have these
fights

but you--you have
to trust that when
i speak i know
whats right

you say you say that we can today
we can forget what we said
all that we have to do is step off this cliff

you say you say that it won't be hard
when we're in each other's arms
but bones fall harder than stones fall faster than this


and i---i know
its hard for you
to see me dry
like leaves

and i---i know
the subway seat
feels deeper
than it seems

but i---i have
to trust myself
to know that
what i speak

is right.

the bard garden

that garden touched my soul, it said you
could love your young love against these
marble walls in covers love him dark
like her black knees pressed to the side
mouth on metal love him light
like your hands intertwined spewing floating
ephemeral dreams