why am i so fucking angry?
it hurts too much to see your face
it hurts too much
so much
so so so much
it hurts.

.

i have no words to say to you
i have no words to say to you anymore
and i thought maybe i didn't need them
but i have nothing to draw either

i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you
i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you
i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you
i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you
i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you
i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you
i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you
i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you
i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you
i hate you i HATE YOU I HATE YOU
i HATE you I HATE YOU I HATE YOU
I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU
I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU
IHATEYOUIHATEYOU I HATE YOU I HATE
HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE
HATE HATEHATEHATE HATE HATE HATE
HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE YOU YOU
YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU
YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU
YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU
YOU I HATE YOU I HAT EYOU
I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE
YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU
H A T E Y O U I H A T E 
Y O U YOU YOU YOU YOU
I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU
I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU
IHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATE
YOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOU
I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU

and i said i never would.

i permit myself to think of you fondly
for one second on this rainy day
the fog coated windows like
glass limbs warmed with hot breaths, for one moment
i allow myself to think about what it will be like
when we speak again to imagine the heavy clouds
to muse---will they disperse? for one minute
on this water stained monday, the edges furled
like books or letters I allow myself to puff a cloud
of mourning like mist, to see it curl itself around me--
slowly, before its gone.

an oldie (but a goodie) from the drafts section, 10/18/15

i kiss you pressed up against
your middle school's back doors

this is not a mistake

this kiss is a sense of dominance
this kiss is a dog peeing a circle of territory

this kiss is me peeing a circle of territory
and it tastes like strawberries

it tastes warm and blurry like
a small bottle of gin shared
on the steepest slope of riverside park
in the cold

Memoriam for a Lost Blog

i lost them in the flood
(the flood of change)
it came so quickly and i forgot
to check the box
and now they're gone.

i spent the morning looking
perusing the corners of the internet
picking up and checking if they
lay among the dust.
To no avail.

May they remember where they once stood,
splayed against the digital page and may
each and every syllable sunken in cyberspace
know the distance it helped carry me
from the end of one year to the beginning of the next.

valediction (a collaboration with a friend)

Slung across a purple landslide, we lie like doves.

Skin blizzarding blistering red like freedom.

Saturdays and Mondays are wonderful.

Skeleton in a closet comes out to dance.

Superb hair make me fire like

the greatest match.

When you cry, I laugh.

Salty and green and hard and frivolous.

Sweet and hideous and fluffy and rude.

(Mo(u)rning is not me.

Me is mo(u)rning.)

City living organs far from home.

I don’t know how to live or how to die.

Parents try frying eggs but soggy breakfast always begs

for company.