It eats at me from the center of my skin

See this stomach a pit of gnawing

A pit of dark black

That the lines of my mind cannot contain

I do not want to be such a monster

I do not want to hold such envy within my bones

prayer

i lean my head against
the wooden table
like oak or pine or cedar
redwood forest california
smell the firtrees at your feet
and i think of what it is that i want

i never used to wish for specific things
i would let the heavens do my choosing
wish vaguely for things to turn out right
for celestial bodies to align themselves in
the order they deemed fit

i breathe i breathe i breathe i breathe
hold breath hold breath hold breath hold breath
let each thought float away like feather
let each feeling cease to be
let lips press and let hands like leather
eyes pressed together so that i see

what that i want
what that i need
to hear it in the rushing breeze
all that i want
all that i need
i pray for it to come, to please

i lean my head against
the wooden table
and kiss its colored waves.

from june to september

i am afraid that in the space of a summer
(stretched paper thin like a piece of tracing paper)
i will crinkle and crumple and tear with each blow
the breeze i can see myself withering
(where are my legs like tree trunks, my heart like the raging sea)

hot tears

sometimes i cry hot tears
and i don't want you to tell me not to
i don't want you to exercise
jurisdiction on my eyes you don't realize
these salty flavored stuffy sticky tears
are all i want
don't tell me not to cry
don't tell these loving rivers
to not flow from each eyelid down the supple plains
of my cheeks round
the plumpness the red flush
quiver shiver
down the side of my nose
around my lips
pressed tight
you do not exercise control here
you do not exercise control