im staring into her blue eyes
the picture on the screen
trying to understand
i used to understand
she used to help me with
her steady stream of whispered words
the inabandon of little girls
the secret of the secrets
the thrill of the night
loosening tongues spilling with syllables

but now
i am watching
without words and her face
is seeming more and more like
a mask
a world i could've been a part of
if i hadn't drifted away

i'd drop my stuff
and run down the stairs
hair flying
pens falling
head over heels
tumbling tumbling
falling
and rolling
my way down
to you

today
was such a good day
it was such a good day

(and it didn't even start
that way)

but it began when i found my place
on your side
flanked by another

when we became three
not two disconnected
but three intertwined

and sitting there i could imagine
us sitting there so many
more times
so many more times
until we were known
as three
boy girl boy
boy boy girl
girl boy boy
until it ceased to matter

and our parents knew each others names
and we spoke in secret whispers
in the night
and you knew everything
before i told you
myself

untitled

I’m trying to open myself up

to the world

and bare my secrets

the syllables scratching under my skin

so that my reader

will know who I am

and see who I’ve been

clearly

so that I will not feel empty

but they’ll feel full

with their eyes drinking in

all the knowledge

filling them up with me

and being me,

though all they can ever be is them