i don't want to write.
but i do.

i want to write
what i want
not what you want
not what they want

i want to write
what the words tell me
not tell the words
what i want to write

the power play
is over
between me and the world

i'd surrender
but i can't

in surrender is acceptance
and humility.
two attributes
i find unlikely
to exist

so instead i say nothing
a petulant child
who knows
her stubborn
nature
will break

old poems

old poems from last years planner...

when you fall,
there’s nothing around you but
rushing air
blocking your ears
we ball ourselves up
making smaller better
trying to
compress enough
so we can
disappear
and
not fall
anymore
-------

smiling is a loud way to fake you’re okay,

silence is a quiet method of acceptance

--------

we should separate ourselves

from the world, ignoring

the fake drama of today

that disappears

slipping off

us,

retract into

our own

peace,

where we

are alone

with our minds

and the words and

bustle of others

seem like a dream

or movie

and what is important

is real

The sky
flies over me
as i hover
above the clouds,
the moon is my savior
amid the darkness of the night.

the deathly silence
that blockades my ears
with sound

Unnamed

take off your shoes
and run down the sidewalk
sock-footed
in the fluorescent lights
illumination in the night

i wrestle with my
self
am i that type of person?
am i
that
adventurous?

i want to be.

reach down
then hesitate

look around

see the strangers
walking down behind

i do not want to be
trapped
in a prison
of false judgements

dont let them shackle you
before you
chain them

wait a few seconds
until they disappear
wait a few seconds till
you are alone

rip off your shoes
laces
unraveled
converse in hand
and run

cold biting
thread
breath in your
body
run

slow to a stop
jump
up
the stairs

open the door
quietly

place your shoes down
silently

walk down the hall
loudly

the tension within you released.